Obama the Christian…McCain the Rebel

Prepare for some savage road rage. Obama’s officially out for blood. He’s harvesting plans for a massive base expansion. And he’s gunning for Christians. Go figure.

Having watched McCain hijack his change wagon to Washington by strapping a provocative sophomore coed named Sarah Palin in the passenger seat, Obama is now hell-bent on nudging his adversary’s pro-life minivan into the ditch for restitution.

The Obama campaign recently produced a litany of faith-based political paraphernalia to sink a fierce donkey tooth into the republican stronghold – ardent pro-life Christians who traditionally tend to view Democrats and bird shit splattered on the windshield in the same gloomy light.

Believers for Barack…Catholics for Barack…Pro-Life/Pro-Obama…Joel Osteen Impregnated an Obama Mama!

Bumper stickers featuring these slogans will have drivers veering off roads across the country. Regular folks befuddled and confused, struggling to recall which side of the damn road they’re supposed to drive on.

And this from a candidate whom many religious conservatives fear to be of the Islamo-Fascist persuasion…like Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein and Muhammad Ali and any citizen of a country that begins with the letter I (note: this namely implies Iraq and Iran, however, I’ve recently crossed many Americans fostering beef with Ireland and Italy as well).

That’s what happens when you let a 72-year-old man steal your ride. Not even at gunpoint. Just flat out stole the fucker while you were inside paying for gas.

Indeed, the grim future of American politics will soon be mirrored in the chaos of ideologically drunk citizens navigating too many slippery roads. Everyone driving all over the map, taking any and every ill-advised route, making directions up as they go along.

And then all will be well again. Just as long as someone gets where they originally intended to go…Pennsylvania Avenue.

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