Corrupting the News…A slew of privacy invasions has all of Washington on edge. Nobody appears to be safe.
First it was access to Sarah Palin’s email account the hackers seized.
Then it was Barack Obama’s fantasy football team they jostled.
Rumors are now swirling that John McCain’s Facebook profile was sabotaged.
It’s all just gone too damn far.
The inexcusable trespasses began when some foul rogue cracked Palin’s password for her Yahoo! email account and uploaded several screen shots on the gossip Web sites Gawker and WIRED. Her personal ID was GovernorBulldog69. It appears her password was also GovernorBulldog69.
Yahoo! government relations director, Thomas Dupri, said this could have been easily avoided.
“We typically suggest our users employ a little common sense when creating passwords,” Dupri said. “I mean, Sarah Palin could have at least made the password ‘GovernorBulldog6969’ so it wasn’t exactly the freaking same. God damn unbelievable is what it is.”
Unfortunately for the public, the hackers didn’t reveal any juicy information. No secret files. No plots. No schemes. No photos of Sarah Palin tied up to the bed with lavender satin scarfs on Valentines Day back in 1999. Nothing.
“It’s really a shame that nothing worthwhile was released,” said popular culture critic, Clyde Foster. “They didn’t even give us a bloody bone here. What, we get Bristol’s cell phone number? The broad has been knocked up for crying out loud.”
The perpetrators also succeeded in gaining access to Barack Obama’s fantasy football team. It’s been widely reported that Senator Obama inadvertently selected the “Remember Password” option when signing in to set his weekly roster while visiting a public library in Fargo, South Dakota.
“His whole roster was trashed,” said Obama fantasy football consultant, Bill Brackens. “Who trades Aaron Rodgers for fucking Vince Young? Vince Young! The guy’s out of his mind – probably won’t ever see the field again. And Rodgers? His stats are sick. This was a huge blow to Barack’s chances.”
Aside from trading Green Bay Packers starting quarterback, Aaron Rodgers, for the Tennessee Titans mentally-questionable backup quarterback, Vince Young, the perpetrators also dropped the four running backs on Obama’s roster and signed pot-smoking jackals Dante Culpepper and Lawrence Phillips – both of whom are out of football and probably awaiting trial for some heinous crime.
John McCain’s Facebook profile also fell victim to hackers, however, the damage was minimal. Under the information section where users define their sexual preferences, McCain’s status was changed from “I am interested in my wife” to “I am interested in dudes.”
The McCain campaign has yet to comment.