It’s official – Sarah Palin is now ready for the world stage.
No more questions of experience. No more Wasilla bashing. No more forecasts of looming disaster should McCain’s heart forfeit the fight.
Palin has finally bolstered her foreign policy credentials (continental cred, for you slang talkers) by meeting with a slew of world leaders at the U.N. General Assembly in New York City today. Thus she is now armed and ready for any shit the world slings onto America’s windshield.
All the big names are there…Afghani President Hamid Karzai…Columbia’s Alvaro Uribe…former US Secretary of State Henry Kissinger…U2 front man Bono…New York Yankees owner, George Steinbrenner (or was it Hank?).
Indeed, shaking hands with foreign leaders is the ideal international icebreaker for rookies, especially one as raw as Palin, whose passport was issued just two years ago – no time for traveling overseas…but what about that layover in Ireland?
For Palin, it will be a crash course in foreign diplomacy, or “maverick gunslinging” as Mac calls it. While the ticket leader meets with big shots from Georgia, Ukraine, and India, Palin will likely be seeking out Russian officials, any Russian officials, to tell them about the exquisite view she’s had of their country these past years. Maybe talk hunting, fishing, drilling, etc.
How valuable it all will be. Now she can look Charlie Gibson in the eye, without the peculiar twitch, and say, “Hell yeah, Charlie, I’ve met with world leaders. What’s it to you?”
Which is a good thing. For despite Palin’s misguided guess on national television, every vice presidential candidate of the past 30 years had previously met with at least one freaking foreign leader prior to running.
“I have not and I think if you go back in history and if you ask that question of many vice presidents, they may have the same answer that I just gave you,” Palin said. “But, Charlie, again, we’ve got to remember what the desire is in this nation at this time. It is for no more politics as usual and somebody’s big, fat resume maybe that shows decades and decades in that Washington establishment, where, yes, they’ve had opportunities to meet heads of state.”
Now even this doesn’t sound nearly as ridiculous. The bulldog is bona fide. Ready to brawl.
And it couldn’t have come at a better time for the McCain-Palin camp. Her stock was plummeting and here’s the bailout…A chance for a few photo ops…An opportunity to appear presidential…A possibility of meeting Bill Clinton – weee doggies…And best of all, a chance for the entire world to get a taste of this Alaskan cream pie.
But although Mac and company are understandably excited about the advantageous implications, they should be equally leery of the potential for a backyard bloodbath of the worst kind.
Yes, this political ploy can backfire worse than stealing box seats at a Yankees game, where the whole crowd laughs and taunts your ass as the security guards whisk a fraud to the exit.
Barack Obama survived his staged world tour production relatively unscathed. He spoke before thunderous crowds thousands of adoring fans. Met with a few foreign leaders. Played hoops with the troops. Said all sorts of fancy and worldly things. But the lasting image will forever be of him standing before that maniacal Woodstock crowd in Berlin. That’s it. The fading memory is that the world loves that fucking Obama.
Palin won’t be nearly as privileged. She’s only meeting with people boasting international presence. One photo of her shaking hands with a president wearing a “Who is this sexy dame?” look and it’s over. It will be the Clinton-Lewinsky hug shot. Gary Hart and his whore on Monkey Business shot.
It will be game, set, match for the Obama camp.
McCain better hope Palin smiles, acts strong and composed, and doesn’t unintentionally turn anyone on…it could turn the whole country off quickly.