McCain camp takes over Alaska…Palin as Tony Soprano

The Anchorage Daily News recently asked in an editorial, “Is it too much to ask that Alaska’s governor speak for herself, directly to Alaskans, about her actions as Alaska’s governor?”

Great question. Nobody seems to have any answers. Well, people have answers, they just aren’t coming from Governor Sarah Palin…they’re coming from Team America: John McCain.

While Palin tours Main Streets and Wall Street in the lower 48, she has reportedly turned over all communication regarding state government to McCain staffers. Even her own staff in the governor’s office is on the hush. Sitting on hands. Playing a great deal of solitaire. Searching for porn. Wondering if they will be rewarded with jobs in Washington…just about everything but their jobs.

Now it’s typical for presidential campaigns to assume the majority of communication when governor’s are involved, however, one cannot help wondering how the Troopergate affair is affecting things this time around. Breeds much suspicion.

Not even her lieutenant governor, Sean Parnell, has heard from her in over a week – not since Palin’s email was jacked by collegiate terrorists anyway.

What’s eerie about this perverse charade is how invasive the McCain camp has been. Not even Palin’s hometown friends are answering calls. People are freaked out. Nervous. Fearful of sending more cataclysmic shock waves through her already preposterous candidacy.

And it makes you wonder…are her friends, relatives, neighbors, lovers, fellow hunters, and political colleagues reluctant to speak for obvious political reasons, or are they straight terrified of what a vindictive, vendetta-driven wildebeest does when you piss her off by opening your mouth.

Surely Alaskans watch The Sopranos. Surely they know you don’t cross the boss. Especially with information.

No, no, no, you don’t want to be the Alaskan dimwit who admits Palin destroyed your lawn in her Ford F-350 diesel truck because you didn’t buy a coupon book for her daughter’s school fund raiser. Or the Wasilla town idiot who claims Palin never paid up when you shoveled her driveway back in ’99.

Alaska is certainly quieter than usual these days. Too quiet. Even for the mysterious state jammed between Canada and Russia.

People up there don’t want to say much these days. Not without first consulting the McCain campaign.

And when they do speak, they measure their words with the utmost caution. Knowing that Palin’s a helluva shot with the rifle. Knowing that Palin will be out for blood if anyone back home fucks this dream up for her.

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