Corrupting the News…
Things nearly got ugly after the presidential debate Tuesday night, as Michelle Obama eyed Cindy McCain like a wildebeest keen on slashing a jugular.
As the candidates roamed the crowd greeting the audience and repeating the phrase “hope I can count on you in November” 200 times, Michelle thrust a vicious glare at an obviously frightened Cindy, who bowed her head in silent church-going fashion.
When asked about the incident later Cindy said she definitely feared for her life.
“I didn’t realize how big and tall she is,” Cindy McCain said. “All it took was one glimpse to know Michelle’s a bad mutha. Bet she’s on steroids like that Barry Bonds.”
Michelle was noticeably incensed backstage, where it took three Obama staffers to refrain her from attacking Cindy.
“Look at these guns – look at ’em,” said Michelle, pointing to her enormous biceps. “That scrawny little bitch doesn’t wanna step to this! Nuh uh. Nuh uh uh!”
Thomas Spectre, who writes a column for Cat Fight Weekly, said the fight would be more competitive than some might assume.
“I look at Michelle and obviously am like ‘Wow, that broad is stacked!'” Spectre said. “But I think Cindy is underrated because she is quick and scrappy. Plus I’m pretty sure she hates black people, so that would only further fuel her rage.”
When asked how she would fare against either of the candidate’s wives, Sarah Palin said she could take both of them out with little hardship.
“Are you kidding me, I have guns for crying out loud,” Palin said. “I would drop both of them with two pulls of the trigger.”