Corrupting the News…
Hugh Hefner is a big John McCain fan. At least he was.
Having endorsed McCain several weeks back, saying the two shared the same taste in women, now Hefner wants his endorsement and his girlfriend back.
Rumors are circulating betwixt Hollywood insiders that former Hef lover and star of E!’s The Girls Next Door, Holly Madison, has abandoned the publishing icon for a presidential candidate ten years his younger.
“Obviously age played a big part in her decision,” said Laura Heart, managing editor of Hollywood Smut. “Holly finally realized Hef was just too old to realistically have a future with him. John McCain’s youth and energy has revivified her. It’s a complete transformation.”
The Hefner-Madison fallout initially seemed a natural occurence, as the blonde vixen’s star power has climbed steadily since the show’s debut in 2001. However, her decison to move from the Playboy Mansion to the White House startled even her closest friends.
“I really thought Holly would take some personal time before jumping into another relationship, but her spontaneity has always been one of her best qualities – that and her breasts anyway,” said Rachel Ford, one of Madison’s closest confidantes.
The McCain campaign hopes Holly and McCain’s relationship – which they insist is somewhat platonic – can provide the same momentum boost seen when Sarah Palin was added to the ticket.
“The more sexy women McCain has at his side, the better off he is with independent male voters between the ages of 18 and 108,” said McCain spokesman, Todd Clary. “Experience and fancy rhetoric garner a lot of votes, but nothing sways the American male electorate like 36-Cs.”
Hefner has yet to make any public comments on the situation, though sources in the Playboy Mansion said he isn’t taking this lightly.
“There’s two things Hef hates losing – money and women,” the source said. “He’s obviously distraught right now, but he still has his millions of dollars and dozens of women, so I think he’ll get by. He actually has a pair of Playboy twins moving in soon. And when I say twins, I mean twins.”
When asked by reporters how she felt about the campaign addition, Cindy McCain said she wasn’t worried the least bit.
“If John thinks her tits won’t sag in twenty years, then he’s got another thing coming,” she said. “Besides, I’m the one with all the money in this marriage. If John wants to go broke for a busty chest, then I hope the two of them don’t mind living on welfare. It would probably change his entire platform.”