McCain condemns Angelina Jolie breastfeeding photos

Corrupting the News…

John McCain doesn’t care much for breasts. At least not on the cover of magazines.

The Arizona senator told a pro-life crowd in Ohio that the latest issue of W magazine – featuring Jolie’s provocative ta’s and an infant’s curious paw – should be pulled from newstands in the name of common decency.

“My friends, I’m all about breasts in magazines, just check my mailbox,” said the 72-year-old. “But, my fellow Americans, when naked hooters start showing up on newstand covers, unhidden from children’s eyes, then enough is enough. These Hollywood liberals might not care about ethical standards, but just check my record – I have put my country before boobs every time.”

Although the move stands to re-re-resolidify his support among the non-sexual ultra-conservative base, republican analysts speculate it might hurt his image among independents.

“I just don’t see how you denounce breastfeeding, or even breasts in general, for that matter – especially when they’re Angelina Jolie’s of all people,” said Robert Rowdy, republican analyst for Cinemax. “There’s probably six men in America who will vote for him now, and he’s related to all of them.”

The harsh stance has also spawned a rift between McCain and vice-presidential running mate, Sarah Palin, who is an ardant supporter of the voluptuous appendages.

“Sarah Palin has always advocated on behalf of breasts of all shapes, sizes, and angles,” said Maureen Browley, Palin’s wardrobe aide. “In all seriousness, where would Sarah be without them? Probably married to some wife beater in Alaska…I mean Iowa.”

The Obama campaign released a statement applauding Jolie for her courage and her extensive work for mothers worldwide.

“Senator Obama has always been a huge Angelina Jolie fan,” said Mitch Brock, an Obama aide. “He’s already requested a signed copy of the issue, as well as any extra photo negatives the photographer might have lying around. Huge fan of hers. Huge.

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6 Comments

Filed under Corrupting the News

6 responses to “McCain condemns Angelina Jolie breastfeeding photos

  1. Madness

    McCain’s crazy!

  2. The Creep

    After 12 kids maybe those “ta’s” don’t need to be on a mag cover. I would’nt mind seeing them.

  3. Abe

    “I’ve put my country before boobs every time”

    How about when you were using government property while in the military to fly and visit your girlfriend every weekend? I think that’s putting boobs first – and crashing a plane worth millions in taxpayer money as a result.

  4. jen

    McCain should try pulling a lot more than just this W mag then! How about Maxim? Cosmo? just to name a few. What an idiot…he’s all for boobs INSIDE the magazine if it’s in a sexual way, but a photo of a mother nursing her baby offends him? That right there sends a message to young people that boobs, and women in general, are a sexual thing and what comes naturally (breastfeeding) should be looked down upon! Fucking dinosaur…

  5. Tara

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