Corrupting the News…
John McCain still has his money on the Dallas Cowboys to win the Super Bowl.
Despite losing starting quarterback, Tony Romo, for up to a month with a broken pinky on his throwing hand, the republican presidential nominee told reporters Monday that “the fundamentals of the Dallas Cowboys are still strong,” and that he “expects big things out of Jessica Simpson’s man.”
“The Cowboys represent America, that’s why they’re America’s team,” McCain said. “You look at their jerseys, and cheerleaders, and their players, and their owner, and their cheerleaders, and that’s what you see – main street America.”
When asked to comment on the disruptions caused by volatile personalities like Terrell Owens and Pacman Jones, McCain continued the America metaphor.
“You visit the inner city neigborhoods of some of our most impoverished cities and that’s what you see – jackass clowns like that,” he said. “Not that I’ve seen it personally, that’s just what you hear. But me? I avoid those areas like the goddamn plague. Never go. Why? They aren’t voting for me anyway. Fuck ’em.”
The Obama campaign pounced on the McCain quote, saying it was the economy all over again.
“John McCain comes out and says the fundamentals of the economy are strong, and then Wall Street goes down like a lame hooker,” said Obama spokeswoman, Sharon Felt. “Now he says the Cowboys are still favorites, even though Romo’s hand is fucked worse than O.J. The man obviously has no freaking clue of what’s going on in the world around him.”
“That’s really neat that a man who could be president is thinking about little old me,” Romo said. “You know what’s also neat? That I’m bangin’ Jessica Simpson and everybody thinks I’m the greatest thing ever. Which they should. Because I am.”