Obama Family Secret Service Names Revealed – Reno Raines Has Beef

Considering the News…

Reno Raines can’t be happy these days. One thing’s for sure, his life will never be the same. Now that the next First Family’s Secret Service names are public, Raines sadly becomes just the second most famous “Renegade” on the planet.

In perhaps one of the more dubious news stories of the year, we learned today that President-Elect, Barack Obama, has assumed the rebel alias as his codename. There’s no reports indicating the name is a cunning jab at his republican rival in the election, The Maverick McCain, but it would be more amusing if such later proved to be true.

And daddy Barry isn’t alone, as the entire Obama pack now has ostentatious code names – Michelle (Renaissance…I’m serious), Malia (Radiance…alright, give ’em that), and Sasha (Rosebud…I know, I know.) It’s uncertain why they all took on R-words for names, but I’m sure there’s some excessively intellectual reasoning behind it.

What we can confirm is Reno Raines is a lame duck Renegade.

Alright, it was a terrible show, but you know you watched at least 14 episodes on USA between the hours of 11 p.m. and 2 a.m. back in 1996.

Alright, it was a terrible show, but you know you watched at least 14 episodes on USA between the hours of 11 p.m. and 2 a.m. back in 1996.

Not that he can be entirely pissed off about it…the man had a damn good run. From the show’s debut on September 17, 1992 until about 12 or so hours ago, Raines took full advantage of that name. In fact, few have probably ever gotten more tail out of a Hollywood moniker.

The quasi-bad ass, long-haired cop – framed for the murder of his wife, a murder the poor fool didn’t commit – made his name by patrolling the streets as a contracted bounty hunter (It’s strongly believed that Dog the Bounty Hunter blatantly ripped off his entire life from the show).

Having teamed up with the comedic Native American known as Bobby Sixkiller (fourth coolest name in television history behind B.A. Baracus, Cozmo Kramer and Optimus Prime…one spot before Angus MacGyver), the two kicked mad ass every day, before calling it a night to hit the town and beat some mad ass.

And now it’s gone. The inherent glory of being the star of a show syndicated in 100 countries is all flushed down the shit bowl on account of Barack “Renegade” Obama. But I’m sure Reno Raines would want it this way. Why, if he’s anything like his protege Dog the Bounty Hunter then I’m sure he embraces the idea of Obama in office….

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “Obama Family Secret Service Names Revealed – Reno Raines Has Beef

  1. Michael Bass

    That picture conjures up a lot of bad memories because I always hated that show.

  2. Kerry

    Spock and Gomer Pyle have to be in the top 10 best tv names.

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