KKK is still kicking…Now run by morons

Considering the News…

Not many endearing things can be said about the Ku Klux Klan. Few compliments can be paid. Those sheets always seem to be cleaner and brighter than most gracing the beds of America, but other than that we fall severely short on positive material.

Yet despite the horrific and despicable acts of this idiotic group of kooks, spooks, and yahoos, history still acknowledges the fact it was founded, and for many decades run, by some considerably intelligent, educated and influential individuals. These bigoted bastards obviously never used that intelligence for the good of mankind, but it’s historically inaccurate to classify them as sheer morons. Racists and Lindsay Lohan human beings, maybe, but by no means morons.

Lohan is no fan of "colored people."

Lohan is no fan of

Such no longer appears to be the case, however, as there’s news out of New Orleans that a small KKK posse lured an Oklahoma woman down by way of the Internet. The goal? Initiate her with a hodgepodge of sacred rites (probably dripping cow’s blood and pig urine on her head while running in circles “Booooing” and “Hooooing” like Matthew McConaughey on acid with a bongo drum near by).

So, in other words, just your basic KKK meeting – which I have always imagined to be some creepy hybrid scene from One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and a Tide with bleach commercial.

But things went wrong. Terribly wrong. The woman tried to flee and the Klansmen (and two Klanswomen, I might note) made sure that never happened. After leaving the body on an old dirt road, the members tried to burn the woman’s possessions and any evidence right there at their beloved camp site, with signs and patches reading “KKK Life Member” everywhere for the sane eye to see.

Hmm…Really? Right there at your spooky little camp site? The camp site everyone in town knows you and your friends dress up and cook smores at every weekend?

“The IQ level of this group is not impressive, to be kind,” St. Tammany Parish Sheriff Jack Strain said.

And he’s right. The KKK is just as bigoted and racist as ever, unfortunately recruiting efforts haven’t landed many intelligent folks as of late. Talent levels are low…And I’m pretty sure George Wallace would be pissed off about that.

Alabama Governor by day, KKK scalawag by night.

George Wallace: Alabama Governor by day, KKK scalawag by night.


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