16-year-old Schoolgirl to become first Japanese female professional baseball player

Considering the News…

I read this headline half a dozen times before actually clicking through. My initial thoughts were, “Oh, those Japanese and their silly marketing tactics. What will they think up next?”

But then it occurred to me that there might be something more to the story, some freakish angle that no curious mind should neglect to enjoy. I began wondering, “What if this one’s like 6-6, 250 and throws in the upper 90s, the product of some bizarre Japanese genetics tests that could someday lead to the first 10-foot-tall, 1,000-pound man…I’d be a fool to pass up a good read like that!”

So I finally clicked through and read about a 5-foot, 114-pound knuckleballer drafted by the newly created Independent League set to launch next April. Indeed, the exact kind of trivial fluff I rightly assumed awaited me, and many thousands of other curious folks, behind the tantalizing headline.

It's a bird! It's a plane! No, it's a silly marketing tactic!

It's a bird! It's a plane! No, it's a silly Japanese marketing tactic!

Those fucking Japanese and their silly marketing tactics…sure fooled me.

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2 Comments

Filed under I Don't Believe It!

2 responses to “16-year-old Schoolgirl to become first Japanese female professional baseball player

  1. I’m extremely hairy and my son is a greasy, scabby gross kid

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