President-elect Barry Obama loses the Blackberry – Scarlett Johansson’s pissed

Considering the News…

Times are hard for the soon-to-be commander-in-chief. It’s a brutal double-edged sword that is being President of the United States, the leader of the free world.

Ol’ Barry won the election and now has to kick his beloved Blackberry habit because of it. Which will be some feat, as reports indicate the poor bastard is hooked to the thing, like Canseco and steroids or Madonna and craziness. He can’t live without it, can’t sleep without it, can’t…well, let’s not go to those unsavory depths.

As all communications by the President are subject to open records laws, those kinky campaign emails Obama has been exchanging with the sexy, sassy Scarlett Johansson will become a thing of the past once he takes office.

Either that or they’ll become fodder for every pervert in America with some time and a sense of humor. Hmm…she does look like Marilyn while he inspires like Jack Kennedy. Hell, maybe the Oval Office will soon be back to the scandalous sex-riddled hot spot we knew and loved in past Democratic glory years.

Do you have email friends like this? Barack does...

Do you have email friends like this? Barack does...

But that’s getting off topic, now isn’t it. Point is Barack’s favorite companion will be sitting in the closet for the next 4 to 8 years (the Blackberry that is). Can’t let the enemy track him with all those fancy GPS tracking capabilities. Can’t let the Republican opposition research team know he called Bush “That dumb bastard before me,” in a jovial email to Joe Biden or Chuck Nagel or (gasp!) that punk Bill Ayers.

Who knows who Barry’s been emailing on the Blackberry, what we know is that any communications conducted via the Information Superhighway will be everyone’s entertainment come January 20, 2009.

The poor fool gets elected President and simultaneously thrown back to the Dark Ages. What a weird job.



Filed under Dirty Politics

2 responses to “President-elect Barry Obama loses the Blackberry – Scarlett Johansson’s pissed

  1. HRSnuck

    Times is hard in the struggle

  2. No fair! He should be able to keep his BB, if only for read-only use to a generic email address used by him and his chief of staff.

    Wonder how President-elect Obama will deal with the unpleasant withdrawal symptoms from his CrackBerry addiction? Read a tongue-in-cheek fantasy letter to the President-elect on how to cope (from one addict to another) at

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