President Bush pardons 14 – The real juice awaits

Considering the News…

Georgie boy shocked the world by granting 14 Presidential pardons and two sentence commutations – not because of the sheer number or inherent malice behind the execused crimes, but because the list lacks the blockbuster ringers we particularly expect from such a surreptitious and unapologetic man.

This list simply begs one question: Where the hell’s the juice, George? Give us something, for Chrissake.

The yawn-inducing roll call of elementary crimes reads more like a high school suspension log than a catalogue rife with heinous, wicked crimes against humanity. Why break the news of these pardons unless offering a long list of society-crippling acts glorified in movies but unimaginable to the common, sensible citizenry?

Bank embezzlement?

Income tax evasion?

Unauthorized aquisition of food stamps? Food stamps?

Improper storage and disposal of toxic waste?

Violating the Bald and Golden Eagle Protection Act?

Conspiracy to distribute cocaine and Ricky Williams’ personal stash? (Old college buddy from Yale?)

Aiding and abetting the theft of government property? (Cheney and the Haliburton posse?)

George better beef up the list before exiting stage right, lest he desires the long-lasting classification of “America’s biggest Pussy-elect.” I don’t think he does. No, I’m compelled to believe we’ll soon see the most repulsive collection of “Get out of jail free” cards since Ford, when he said all was well and forgotten with that crook Nixon.

This limited sample is but an unsatisfying taste of what awaits us. Yes sir, George’s last day in office will blow more minds than LSD did in the 60s. The pre-emptive pardons will clear the names of every war criminal that wreaked havoc under his rein…It’s going to be a damn long list, too.

The 140 pardons granted by Clinton on his last day will be a sack of dusty seeds next to the bewildering fields of crookedness George will soon sow before the public’s eyes. Executive privilege will be invoked many times, as he execuses his own self from any explanations or motives. It’s going to be some scandalous shit, but at least we’ll get a little juice.


Filed under Dirty Politics

4 responses to “President Bush pardons 14 – The real juice awaits

  1. FratBoy12

    Bush better add his name to the preemptive list on the way out the door.

  2. hurryupnbuy

    Bush is pardoning former member of The Fugees, a rap group, named John Forte. Forte was caught with a few kilos of liquid cocaine in an airport. I have yet to find out why Bush would pardon him? A fan of his music perhaps?

  3. Brad

    Bush has pardoned ~1/2 as many people as Clinton did at this same point in there terms. I don’t see why you say “I’m compelled to believe we’ll soon see the most repulsive collection of “Get out of jail free” cards since Ford” because that is completely unfounded by looking at his past history of pardons and commutations. Hell, he still hasn’t pardoned Ramos and Compean…..

  4. jmwinn

    While it’s true, Brad, that Bush has only granted 171 pardons – half as many as Clinton or Reagan at this point in the second term – I believe Republican Rep. Dana Rohrabacher summed things up in regards to Ramos and Compean.

    “The fact that the president has neglected to free these men from their imprisonment while freeing drug dealers, embezzlers and other criminals is insulting to the American people who have been begging and pleading for the president to release the agents.”

    I imagine Ramos and Compean will be pardoned from their “shoot an unarmed drug smuggler and cover it up” crime on Bush’s last day, along with a long list of other deserving criminals. That’s just something every president does and Bush will be no different.

    What will make his pardons some of the worst ever (hence my Ford allusion) is that many of them will be pre-emptive, thus protecting many known criminals from facing charges during the Obama administration. Many of Bush’s closest colleagues, high up officials, military leaders, etc. will be on the “Freedom List.”

    And that’s a Mission Accomplished.

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