Things you can’t say in Colorado – Your lady is a tramp

Considering the News…

One has to wonder how the hell Hunter S. Thompson ever got away with living in Colorado. The guy should have done some serious time…and not just for the abundance of mind-bending drugs and explosives…Thompson’s typewriter should have gotten him locked up thrice daily.

The news out of Fort Collins is that some 40-year-old buster was arrested for, get this reader, calling his lady a lousy whore on Craigslist. Ok, perhaps his rhetoric was a weeee-bit more libelous than that (He actually claimed she was giving her lawyer the business in exchange for legal representation), but it sets a startling precedent either way you lube the shaft.

You see, people just don’t get arrested for saying, writing, or publishing that kind of twisted shit these days. Wrists are slapped. Retractions are printed. Apologies are faked. But no one gets 18 months in the “fun shower” for calling his lady a no-good, meddling tramp on the damn “Raves and Rants” section of Craigslist. Maybe in China. Maybe in North Korea. Maybe those blasted Russians even take a pinky toe to prove a point.

But under no circumstances should any American face time for calling a loved one an easy skank – no matter how ludicrous the claims. This is a classic case of “Slander per se”  since the guy challenged a woman’s “chastity,” however, such ugly claims are made in every middle school, high school, college, and redneck-infested watering hole 365 days a year.  

Should this truly warrant one’s imprisonment? Do we have room for this in American prisons? Do you, reader, personally know anyone outside of your grandmother who hasn’t called someone a whore, even in jest, at one time or twelve others?

You see, the worst part is the actual wording of the Colorado statute that made this arrest possible…Any words “tending to blacken the memory of one who is dead” or to “expose the natural defects of one who is alive, and thereby to expose him to public hatred, contempt or ridicule.”

Jesus! Pretty damn vague if you ask me. Seems quite a few could be picked up on this. The people of Colorado better act fast and fix this preposterous speech limitation, lest they wish to winnow away their remaining days in complete solitude and silence.

And as for Mr. Man with the filthy mind – perhaps he should consider reading up on John Peter Zenger and private investigators before his hearing, because if his lady is as naughty as he claims, this could be a quick and easy defense.

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2 Comments

Filed under I Don't Believe It!

2 responses to “Things you can’t say in Colorado – Your lady is a tramp

  1. sandysays1

    ???????????? Shouldn’t he have his tongue removed and his typing fingers sliced? Visit me at http://www.SandySays1.wordpress.com

  2. jmwinn

    Sandy, I really don’t have an issue with tongue removal from a “speech” angle, but removing one’s taste buds seems a little harsh. Thus I say leave the tongue and do away with the thumbs and pinkies of each hand. That bastard will remember his sins every time he goes to tie his shoes.

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