Tag Archives: election news

A New Country Under Obama? Probably Not

Considering the News…

After two years of watching the blood bubbles gush from pundits’ ears, things now begin settling quietly. The election is over and we have our first black president to show for it, which pisses some folks off and flat out frightens others.

But 63 million people can’t be wrong. Not this time.

Which isn’t to say every bill Obama signs as president will be entirely beneficial, or even advisable. Nor is it to imply his dominant campaign is a natural indicator that he will be a kickass president in the eyes of historians one century from today.

Indeed, there’s no more evidence that Obama will be a fruitful president than there is proof cars will run on tabs of acid by the year 2020. However, this monumental election was never about individual success or experience, it was about the American people finding a prism through which piles of shit begin looking like fat bowls of pudding again.

obama_chicago

Today things look and feel different than yesterday, even despite the Dow Jones blowing through another 300 points. The smell of pig shit, noxious gas and skunk is slowly evaporating from the air, even if the same impenetrable smog still lurks like it did 24 hours ago. That McDonald’s Big Mac was much tastier this afternoon, even if those blasted trans fats are deadlier than ever.

That’s what this election was about – a change of perception, a reason to hope, a message that hard times must not always have dark endings. Thus Barack Obama winning the presidency is a feather in all our sweat-stained caps. Whether you descend from African lineage is of no matter, for we are all Americans evolving in these times toward a united future. This was just as much our victory as it was Obama’s and victory feels pretty damn good.

So with that we say farewell to the campaign season and all its political banter. I can already feel my brain breathing again. My vision is returning rapidly. Long division isn’t nearly as difficult as it was three weeks ago. I no longer crave that stiff drink two hours removed from lunch…well, change isn’t always universal.

For better or ill, Winn & Tonic will continue this unparalleled ride through streets splattered with trash and squirrel carcasses. There’s too much surreal shit going on in this world to even think of retiring prematurely. Indeed, this venture has just begun.

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Filed under Dirty Politics

Poll Problems: Florida urban areas boast ONE voting booth

Considering the News…

Writing that headline made my ears ring for some reason. A loud, piercing ring showed up and I’m uncertain whether I should expect it to quiet in the coming hours, or even coming days for that matter.

A story from the Huffington Post, credited to TMZ (still confused why that particular institution got involved), reports that heavily-populated areas in urban Florida only have one freaking polling booth.

How the hell is this possible? Coming from a remotely-populated area in the Midwest, my polling place featured 10 voting booths and probably just as many people waiting in line to usethem. And yet the drastically saturated areas of the country (battleground states at that) have only one damn booth for thousands of voters…hmm.

A travesty of the worst kind. I’m utterly appalled, as well as frightened. The ghost of Katherine Harris is evidently alive and well in Florida. And that’s scary shit.

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Preparing for 2012: Palin, McCain and the GOP divide

Considering the News…

How did it get to this? How did the GOP split like the pants of a fat man trying to touch his toes? It once seemed an impossible divorce. Now it must ravage their brains like a horrific dream.

W’s first years in office symbolized the era of an unrelenting bond between fiscal conservatives, evangelicals, and southern zealots. It was a peculiar medley of citizens living harmoniously on the axis of patriotism, Christianity, and an ire for taxes. Different shades of characters all agreeing on a few certainties – Jesus lives, terrorists die, the tax man can get fucked.

Such unrelated concepts bound a majority of the electorate together, with Karl Rove’s devious plan of everlasting power seemingly on the cusp of fruition.

Moderate democrats and radical liberals pissed themselves, fearing the country’s absolute political narrative had been writtten. Something had to give. Surely this shit couldn’t endure forever. However, no immediate demographic shifts appeared likely. Perhaps never again in this lifetime.

So what the hell happened? How are the democrats a mere seven days away from claiming governing dominance? Seven days away from forging a monopoly in congress and the White House. Seven days away from throwing more republicans out of Washington.

Well, George W. Bush happened. Then John McCain happened. And then Sarah Palin happened.

Three different entities representing three wildly different visions of the party. And we all know three heads in one bed just doesn’t make any damn sense – not unless porn is involved.

Bush’s approval ratings illuminate the growing discontent even party loyalists have with undisciplined spending. John McCain’s original immigration stance and utter failure to court the core party base proves they won’t just vote for any yokel waving a flag and wearing GOP pins. And Sarah Palin’s thinning patience with McCain highlights where the party is now headed – for a drastic overhaul before 2012.

Palin’s swift claim of Christian conservative hearts indicates the party’s future lies with its past. She’s cut ties with her runningmate on many issues, trashing pre-drafted speeches and trumpeting her own record instead. McCain’s closest aides have responded with vicious words, berating her with cries of “diva” and “whack job.”

Either way, the grand old party has become a festering heap of crucifixes and tax cuts, as more and more people realize Jesus could just as well be a democrat and republicans can waste money with the best of them. Now a massive shortage on ideas has Karl Rove losing sleep, as his righteous dreams prove naive and unfounded.

Now it’s back to the drawing board. Preparations for 2012 begin next Wednesday. John McCain won’t be involved in any notable fashion, but something tells me Palin will have a black magic marker in her hand and a smile on her face.

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Filed under Corrupting the News