Tag Archives: George W Bush

Barack the Magic Negro and the New GOP

Considering the News…

With the historic 2008 elections now clogging the nation’s collective memory, both major parties are striving to quickly bolster their political image with a barrage of confounding spectacles, confusing any and every American willing to pay attention along the way.

Within a bloody fortnight of winning the election Obama was steeped in shit and corruption – no advisable position for a President-elect. Why, Obama had barely commenced searching for his passport and packing his Hawaiian shirts when word spread that his abandoned senate seat was being auctioned on eBay, and apparently going for no small sum.

While Obama evidently had no hand in the seedy negotiations, his name was certainly thrust into the center of the national dialogue, an unfortunate first presidential production for a man riding the righteous tide of  Washington’s next great exorcist.

After bathing in the story like a call girl in a pile of bills, people (notably the American media) began questioning whether Blago had even committed a crime. Sure the FBI tapes seemed incriminating enough, however, what would be the condition of our prisons if we arrested every body guilty of proclaiming the desire to commit a crime? It’s not but 10 a.m. and already I have heard six different people say today they wouldn’t mind beheading our current President, and yet another who wished the same for Regis Philbin.

Not a grand opening act for America P.O. (or Post Obama). For unearthing corruption is one thing, but summoning the moral police is quite another. I’m not sure where my readers stand on the issue, yet I for one would rather miss the ability to wish death upon my least favorite public figures, or the opportunity to say I’m two drinks away from holding up a bank to appease my creditors. Actions are actions and speech is speech, and I don’t care to start monitoring my words too closely.

Now the GOP, beaten in November like an unwanted fourth daughter that should have been a first son, hasn’t chosen to seize the moral reins in these trying times – no reinvented image has been introduced hitherto. Instead the GOP seems more than content to perpetuate the unsavory perceptions already debilitating its national viability.

Hoping to become the new Republican National Committee chair, Chip Saltsman thought it rather wise to distribute a CD featuring the infamous “Barack the Magic Negro” song composed by renowned satirist, Paul Shanklin. While this is another form of speech I am fond of, the timing strikes me as a bit off.

One might think Saltsman would at least have waited until after he was awarded the position before disseminating quasi-racist soundtracks. That’s just common sense.

So it doesn’t appear either party is overly concerned with positive party identities as of yet. However, I certainly have high hopes for 2009. A new politics awaits us.

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Filed under Unexplainable Happenings

George W Bush admits mistakes – Seems remotely human

Considering the News…

It’s not like you can hate the guy forever. You know, that George W Bush guy.

Sure he’s seemed to fumble one thing after another, to the point he’s become somewhat of a living symbol of Freud’s definition of insanity.

Sure he’s pissed you off at least once a week, every week, for the last 8 freaking years.

Sure he took a scorching dump on several American civil liberties, invading our privacy and striving hard to make the ominous Big Brother of 1984 a living reality here in the grandest of so-called free societies.

And sure he spearheaded ungodly tax cuts which ultimately padded the pockets of fat cats at the expense of the common – dare I say Joe Six Pack – citizens.

But shucks, looking at it now – with the silly bastard packing his Presidential bags – he might not be so evil after all.

Judging by Bush’s interview with CNN aboard the U.S.S. Intrepid in New York after a Veterans Day ceremony, perhaps Georgie does, in fact, have a conscience. All those times you asked yourself or your friends or some random bystander on the streets, “Does the guy even realize how bad he’s fucking up the country? Does he understand the least bit?” It seems the answer – to a mild extent – is probably “Yes.”

Bush finally cut the bullshit, benched the facade, and admitted to causing a few blunders. He might not have broken down completely, categorizing his presidency as an utter disaster, and there were no tears, unfortunately…but this will have to do for now.  We’ll leave the rest to the history books.

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Filed under Dirty Politics

Move over Mario – It’s Super Obama World

Considering the News…

George W Bush isn’t the only one losing his spot atop the pedestal. Nor is Joe Wurzelbacher the only plumber Barack Obama has fucked over lately – now even Super Mario is out of a damn job. Obama’s just that big these days.

In celebration of his monumental election victory, SUPER OBAMA WORLD has been created to slash worker productivity rates worldwide. The free online game pits Obama against lobbyists, lipstick-wearing pit bulls, and, of course, the evil Sarah Palin, in a world highly reminiscent of Super Nintendo’s Super Mario World.
What a kickass idea for a game! Those company reports just got thrown on the backburner. I’m Baracking the fuck out for the rest of the day.

Sorry, boss. Sorry, Mario.

Later, Mario!

Later, Mario!

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Filed under I Don't Believe It!

Bush and Obama put Presidency above Politics – Frighten the Children

Considering the News…

Barack Obama’s first trip to the White House as President-Elect is big news. Not really, but at least the mainstream media thinks so. It’s a swell photo opportunity for capturing worthless pictures of Presidents No. 43 and 44 waving, both grinning like bastards while sharing jokes (unfunny to the rest of mankind) about how cool it is possessing powers the rest of the air-breathing world will never know (like tapping Kim Kardashian’s cell phone to see what kind of naughty things her and Reggie Bush talk about…My guess? Her huge donkey ass, but never mind that).

Obama and Bush smile as they consider just how much they really hate each other.

Obama and Bush smile as they consider just how much they really hate each other.

Most of their Oval Office visit will be comprised of mindless nonsense, as Bush offers Obama a few unsolicited words of advice, all the while biting his tongue and suppressing the urge to leap over his desk and rip Obama’s freaking throat out for dragging his name through the mud everyday of the last two years. Conversely, Obama will brandish that 70-tooth smile, fending off the mounting need for doubling over in laughter as Bush spews his bullshit about “what it takes to be a great president.”

As if you know, Obama will think. But what can he say? It’s all trivial posturing for the sole purpose of convincing the drunken, maladroit androids of the country that politicking is a necessary evil, however, in the end we all love each other like dogs in heat and need to get along. After all, it’s not a red America and a blue America, but a country that loves football and hates terrorists. So lets all get hosed and roast a jihad or two…maybe even bring a tournament to college football before the year 2020. Whatever.

And Michelle and Laura will do their own little tea-slurping ditty, and Entertainment Tonight will feature some 30-second bit about the current First Lady suggesting the Obama’s get a terrier or some shit like that. No one will remember three days from now, but it’s good filler today.

The travesty of it all is that the MSM dropped the ball on the main story here. With so much focus on Presidents shmoozing and First Ladies cooing, non-existent was the coverage of what terrifying and haunting things must be rattling the minds of young Malia and Sasha Obama. After two consecutive years of hearing George W. Bush is the goddamn devil, how could these girls step foot in his house without fearing some ill fate, like jagged blades or raging flames disfiguring their bodies permanently?

I have no clue how these brave young women did it. I just know I wouldn’t have been able to. Not a chance in hell.

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Filed under Dirty Politics