Tag Archives: Hannity and Colmes

Restoring the Fairness Doctrine – Rush Limbaugh moans self to sleep

Considering the News…

If they’re down, kick the rascals in the ribs – it’s the only means for solidifying a new social order.

Rush Limbaugh’s fat jaw has been jiggling with trepidation since the “far left” won the election and established a sizable advantage in both houses of congress. The pill-popping propagandist’s fears continue snowballing each broadcast, as he laments the restoration of the Fairness Doctrine and what terrible fate awaits his paranoia kingdom if such a nightmare comes true.

And why wouldn’t he be frightened – conservative talk radio has experienced unparalleled growth since the doctrine was abolished in 1987. 10-1! That’s the advantage these chatty fear-mongers and religionados have in the market, so it’s no surprise they’ve chomped their nails down to bloody stubs in recent months.

With Obama’s victory comes the appointment of a Democrat to the most influential post in the FCC – the chairman – as well as the highly influential five-person panel.

This would seemingly spell doom for the Limbaughs and Sean Hannitys of the world, yet there’s no evidence Obama even supports the Fairness Doctrine, let alone aims to re-establish its restrictive measures since it challenges aspects of the First Amendment. In fact, Limbaugh’s daily temper tantrums will ultimately prove a waste of raw energy and emotion…though, that’s nothing beyond the ordinary. That’s what talking heads do – stoke public outcries and watch the ratings soar.

Free hookers and booze will find the streets before “fairness” ever realistically hits the airwaves, yet the eventual move to “localism” could spawn a similarly daunting effect, as the FCC forms “community advisory boards” to determine whether a respective station is adequately addressing the public needs of local citizens, fining those that fail to meet the requisite standards (whatever those may be).

What will happen is the hardcore conservative areas (fewer and fewer of these black holes exist each year) will pass with the flying colors of a Cirque de Soleil acid trip, while the other 94 percent of the under-represented country will insist on more progressive programming.

And that sucks for Rush’s kingdom, where subordinates cower under beds with swords ready, listening attentively to the puppet master as he forecasts the imminent demise of everything American…BOO!

What Humpty neglects to address during his insufferable rants and tangents is that his own eventual fall from the wall won’t be the product of crazy liberal doctrines sweeping him away with a spurt of hocus pocus, but because more enlightened Americans are reaching for the dial each day, leaving the dick in a box to continue rambling on and on and on all by himself…

Either way, liberals and Fairness Doctrines won’t be the cause of conservative talk radio’s death – the temper, tone and content already does a damn fine job killing off its own creators.

The paranoia kingdom goes up in smoke

The paranoia kingdom goes up in smoke

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Filed under I Don't Believe It!

Hannity and Colmes part ways – No reports of violence

Considering the News…

Alan Colmes is leaving Sean Hannity. The relationship became too nasty and abusive for the limp Colmes to endure yet another year of savage beatings and taunts and black eyes, so he’s filing his papers and seeking some much needed psychiatric attention – a well deserved respite if I’ve ever seen one.

The 12-year marriage will officially dissolve at the year’s end, when Colmes leaves to “pursue other creative projects” within the Republican National Committee’s official network, Fox News. The loan liberal on a star studded station of neo-cons and Bushites will reportedly continue contributing on his radio show and a new weekend pilot, however, his days of verbal sparring with that smug and pretentious Hannity shall be no more.

Which is rather sad when you reminisce on all the good times they’ve had, launching vicious attacks at one another’s party ideology and coming close to blows on numerous occasions. Colmes was vastly outnumbered, the entire network against him, yet somehow managed to hold his own. Thus I’m saddened by the thought of him leaving the show without ever having jammed a dull, lead pencil into Hannity’s right eye.

Too many opportunities escaped him, and I clearly recall at least 300 moments of unbridled Hannity condescension when I said, “This is it, this is when that little pussy Colmes finally stabs that cock Hannity in the goddamn eye with a dull, lead pencil. This is it!”

But it never happened. And now Colmes is calling it quits while turning in his badge and pocket protector.

Damn.

Hannity gets in a final blow on Colmes

Hannity gets in a final blow on Colmes

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Filed under Dirty Politics