Tag Archives: Hollywood affairs

Iran is ticked at Hollywood – Plus, why movie stars make wonderful diplomats

Considering the News…

It’s rather delightful to learn Iran finally has its priorities in a peaceful place, and it can only be a matter of time before relations with the West are repaired for the collective good of all. Indeed, good times await us yet.

The occasionally troublesome nation took earnest strides this past weekend by warmly hosting a team of Hollywood directors, producers and actors who ventured to the surging American vacation destination for a film-making seminar.

Here they were kindly greeted by President Ahmadinejad’s personal film and cinema adviser – that such a cabinet position even exists has yet to spawn any headlines, although surely this will change in time – who politely and respectfully requested some form of apology for Hollywood’s brazen role in the production of “300” and “The Wrestler”, two movies Iran contends to be blatantly anti-Persian and with very good reason.

Thank God Warren Beatty’s wonderful wife Annette Bening was present to defuse the awkward situation.

The stunning and graceful starlet, best known for her moving performances in the Hollywood blockbuster “Mars Attacks” and one particular 1987 episode of “Miami Vice”, did not reportedly say or doing anything prolific, however, neither are there any reports of her abduction or imprisonment – which, of course, is a positive thing. So as I stated before, thank God she was there.

The trip is part of a grand strategy to breed peace between Iran and America through the universal love and appreciation for movies. As all forms of Iranian mass media are closely overlooked by Ahmadinejad’s regime, the eventual benevolence between the two nations seems incredibly likely, if not inexorable.

Ahmadinejad did not issue an immediate response to the joyous gathering, but he is believed to be a wholehearted fan of “Bugsy”, which for obvious reasons bodes well for Bening’s safe return to America. Perhaps not.

Either way, it’s encouraging to know Iran didn’t make an ugly mess of this otherwise harmless trip. Lord knows Hollywood stars can be rather difficult at times.

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Spitzer prostitute sits down with Diane Sawyer – Hilarity ensues

Considering the News…

Diane Sawyer’s tireless tentacles have slithered around yet another monumental catch, and this one smells like an epic tale.

Eliot Spitzer’s high-class whore wants to open up the forbidden satchel of naughty memories, and who better to lob the juicy questions than the great Sawyer. Damn, this should be a show!

You see, Sawyer has scraped a bottomless cradle of closed minds – world leaders, iconic Hollywood skanks, crooked politicians, gifted thinkers, transcendent beings, J-Lo’s horse ass, the whole bucket of slop – but the numbing monotony can never rival the sheer pleasure derived from watching a true sex goddess ratting out her slaves.

Diane admires J-Lo's rack of lamb

Diane admires J-Lo's rack of lamb

Not that I don’t sympathize with Spitzer. The man was doing a commendable job and he was well respected, yet occasionally the unrelenting instincts of man seem to require some form of strange satisfaction. However, this is what comes with getting caught freelancing in these conflicted and hypocritical times.

Indeed, I would freely wage a thousand dollars that at least eight people on set during the filming have tickled a neighbor or two or twelve, like the great Sawyer herself!

And yet I’d wager another thousand that none of those affairs was with an upper-class call girl pulling down 6 six figures a year. Spitzer at least has some freaking standards.

The Spitzers realize monogamy awaits them both

The Spitzers realize monogamy awaits them both

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