Corrupting the News…John McCain’s recent revelation that he invented the Blackberry prompted a swift rebuttal from the Obama campaign, fearing the magnanimous claim might sway technologically savvy voters toward the republican nominee.
Obama spokeswoman Veronica Pooch said while the Blackberry is a fine wireless tool, its screen is prone to freezing and often fails to send and receive emails.
“The Blackberry obviously has many shortfalls and isn’t teeming with sweet-ass applications like the iPhone,” said Pooch, who admitted to sleeping with her iPhone. “Show me a map on Blackberry and I’ll show you how to end up on the wrong side of town.”
The Obama camp’s dismissal of McCain’s single greatest achievement was also reinforced by fresh information that the junior senator from Illinois is also quite a prolific inventor himself.
“Not only did Barack play an integral role in the development of the incredibly popular Nintendo Wii, but he also spearheaded the filming of what is believed to be the first American-made porn,” Pooch said. “Who doesn’t love Wii and porn? Lord knows they’ve gotten me through many Saturday nights.”
Experts from the Washington think tank, Porn in Politics, believe this dubious claim is an unabashed attempt at solidifying support amongst college-aged voters, who are universally recognized porn addicts, and elderly folks living in retirement communities, which are universally recognized hot spots for Wii bowling…and also porn.
Obama staffers neglected to delve into specifics regarding his role in developing the Wii, but did touch briefly on his involvement in a porn called “The American Melting Pot.”
“Obama wasn’t directly engaged in any of the scenes, but he conducted a community-wide search for several of the film’s stars,” Pooch said. “Essentially, it’s how he got into community organizing.”
The McCain campaign fired back immediately.
“Senator McCain has been filming pornos for decades,” McCain spokesman Todd Beck said. “His catalog is both extensive and diverse. I would argue he knows Americans better than anyone in the country. And as for the Wii, there have been a multitude of reports highlighting the fact Senator McCain enjoys nothing more than a good Wii session after snack and nap time.”